After I share my past experiences with someone new I’m often told that I have the most unexpected stories. Unexpected because the perception that people have of me is very vanilla compared to who I actually am in real life. And this is not to say that I am fake or intentionally deceiving people, maybe its the way I carry myself or just the image people have created of me based on appearance alone…not sure. I’d like to think that I’ve led a pretty interesting life thus far, I have enough stories to fill a book! And not just any book! A book full of comedy, drama, and steamy forbidden romance. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but what I will say is that I don’t regret anything in my life because I learned valuable life lessons that have molded me into the woman I am today.
I pride myself in being an open book, I find that sharing the darkest moments of my life connects me to others in some weird “we all are one” type of way. Often times people become easily embarrassed when talking about moments in their life that tip the scale of expectations that society puts on us. This in part is why I’m so keen on sharing my life the way that I do; I want people to feel comfortable with “the other side” of who they are. The side that we all have, but try so hard to hide… In all honesty, I believe in living your own truth and not pretending to be something you are not. Never compromising who you are to appease the taste of others because I promise you no one will will return that favor.
We have this one life to live which only last for about 75-80 years (that is if you are lucky enough to dodge the tainted darts that plague us – sickness, violence, substance abuse, and bad decision making- among other things). By the time we are actually allowed to live life we are a quarter of the way there. Much of our life is dictated by others for a good chunk of time…the first 18 years of our life we are confined to the rules and home of our parents. Limited to what we can and can’t do, often times struggling with our identity and trying to figure out what the hell we are actually doing here on this big blue planet called Earth. If you are like most of society, the next chapter of your life flies by as you spend most days cramming for finals and most nights binge drinking and partying your way through college while juggling all your extracurricular activities, friends, being broke, relationships, and trying to fit in and keep everyone around you happy. By the time you are 25, you feel the pressures of adult life creeping up quickly behind you. You are expected to have a real job (whatever that means), and be well on your way to being a productive member of society as you hit all sorts of bumps along the way. When you hit your late 20’s the fear of 30 looms over your head like a dark cloud, and you start to rethink your entire life and try to figure out where you went wrong and why you aren’t where you think you should be. Once you hit 30, you are told that things will get better “it will all make sense now” they will say, because you are now magically a full fledged adult with the answers to all of life’s mysteries. But will you really feel like one? By this time I’m sure you’ve lived to please others making sure your parents are proud of your choices, desperate for the approval of friends and others. Never living your truth.
All this pressure.
Just to fit into the societal norms because that is what “we are supposed to do”…but why?
I’m not telling everyone to share their mistakes and life stories with the world and be an open book, but simply to live freely and not be restrained. Don’t be embarrassed of past mistakes and things that don’t “fit in” because we all make bad decisions at some point in life and no one is perfect. Everyone has a past, even the those that you least expect have something that they don’t want anyone to know. Just be comfortable with who you are and go after the things you desire. Don’t let society determine how you live.
I share my life experiences because I am okay with the decisions I’ve made in life and I love to connect with other people on a genuine human level. We are all on a journey of discovery, so while on this journey don’t be afraid to be you!